Category 1

How would you define healing? Webster’s dictionary defines it in a few different ways. The first is “to make free of disease or to make whole.” It also defines it as to, “restore health and to cause an undesirable condition to be overcome.”  It can also mean, “to patch up or correct.” While many of these definitions are similar in nature, they are also very different.  When you look closely at each meaning, you can see that they may require a unique remedy to completely heal each part. I would like to dive into an example from my past to help explain further. Won’t you jump in with me?

Picture this if you can:  Alarm buzzing that fateful sound that screams, “TIME TO GET UP!” My eyes pop open, as I reach over with my right hand to hit the button to make it stop as quickly as possible. I resist the urge to snooze, as I have set my resolve to make the most of my day. I struggled for months with disk issues, nerve pain, and arthritis from it all in my back and neck, and I had the determination that today I was going to conquer the world. Well, I was going to conquer my own world anyway! I carefully exited the warm covers as not to wake my husband, as he was still sleeping soundly with a hint of snoring. He has hearing issues, so he is not usually fully awaken by the horrible loud buzzing of our alarm clock if awoken at all. I decided that I was going to the gym and do a full workout that I used to be so diligent at in my past. We had just joined the gym the week prior, and we now had our 24-hour access key. I had been cleared to go and complete my physical therapy as long as I didn’t overdo it.  I was even a little excited about going, and I put in my mind that I got this! I brushed my teeth, because it is the first thing I have to do once awake, or I feel like the yuck mouth from School House Rock. ( If any of you reading this remember that, there is a song, and the mouth is pretty gross.) Why we do not have those kinds of shows for kids any longer is beyond me! Anyway, I digress, so getting back to it… I got dressed in my gym attire, and I walked out of the bedroom with our dogs at my heel to be let out and fed their breakfast. I was making mental notes as I normally do of the time. I wanted to get to the gym and back to be sure and shower before my son had to to be on the bus. How long making lunch would take for my son, feeding all of our animals, was I going to start a load of laundry?, making the mental list of chiropractor appt, and calendar of meetings with work for the day, getting some work done early before anyone else signed on, and getting my son to the bus stop to be on my way out the door. I realized how lucky I was at that moment to be working from home. My job was very stressful, but it was much easier doing from home than to have to travel as much as I used too.  The progress of technology and the virtual world is a blessing sometimes!  All these thoughts and many more that I can no longer recall cluttering my brain in a continuous loop.  I got my son’s lunch done and all the animals taken care of, as I raced out the door to the gym. As my mind continued to race and go through the loop of things and clutter, I did say some prayers for my family, friends, and my self to be able to get everything done and not hurt myself in my workout.  Check, gym done, successfully conquered the sweating workout and felt the familiar heart race with satisfaction. I raced home to get the rest of my list accomplished. My chiropractic appointment was at 830, and I had a lot to do before then. Remember my list??  I got home as my son was arising from his slumber. It was a proud mom moment, as he had gotten up at his own alarm, and he was making himself breakfast. I have two older children that are in college, and I was pretty blessed that my youngest, a new teenager, was learning to take care of himself. I got my shower done, signed into work and got much more accomplished. Check, check, check! One final look around as I grabbed my wallet, keys, and phone to take my son to the bus stop before heading to my appointment.  I also heard my husband waking up, so I ran back there to say good morning, and off we went. Check, my son on his way to school. I got to my chiropractic appointment about 5 min early which to me meant on time, check. I went in and felt like I could handle this life thing, no problem.  My appointment usually starts with therapy on my neck and/or lower back depending on where the pain is. It is like a small electric current that stimulates the muscles and nerves to provide some healing. I had also been using pain oil blend mainly of peppermint on my pain which I had also applied that morning before and after the gym.  I was feeling pretty good about the healing process of my body. I had it under control, was my mind thinking during my electronic therapy. Once the machine cut off, it was time for my adjustments. My Dr had become my friend in some ways, as we knew each others family names, on-goings, and day to day life. After all, I had been seeing him for 6 months at this point every week. We had just gone to once every other week, when I decided to go cowboy shooting with our scouts the weekend prior, and had apparently got myself pretty out of whack again. I was telling him about it as he adjusted my back about shooting the rifle, shotgun, tomahawks, and bow and arrow shooting. I was telling him that I had learned that I am actually a better left-handed shooter because I close my right eye. I was very excited in telling him as his face had that look of uh huh, and this is why you are here today 4 days early. He said shooting can cause issues in my neck and back with my already list of issues with disks. He said that I should have eased into it instead of doing all the shooting and went back in the evening hours after camp was set to do it more, because I was excited to be good at it with my left. In fact, I was better than using my right hand. I was like a kid about it.  After he completed the back adjustment, he came behind me and lifted my head to adjust my neck.  As he was adjusting my neck, I felt a pain that I do not normally feel. I remember thinking that hurt a little more than it used too.  I remember now that he was talking to me and asking me if I was ok. I thought I had answered him that I was ok and asked him why he asked. He said I was shaking, and he started checking my pulse, my breathing, my eyes, and my reflexes.  I vaguely remember muttering and shaking.  I had apparently had a stroke event. My life changed at that moment forever.  I feel that much of what happened right after is not my story necessarily, because I seemed to be told different things in the way it happened and I do not remember much other than bits and pieces. The next true thing I remember is being in ICU and being poked by a needle in various areas of my right side. I remember thinking I think I feel that, but nothing moved. I had no reaction physically, and I was not too sure of why.  My next clear thought was when I was out of ICU and in the neuro unit in a regular room. The neurologist told me that through all the testing, they could not find anything specifically that caused the stroke event. He said it was my brain that he believes had such a traumatic event that it told my body it no longer works. I had no vision in my left eye, my smile was crooked, seizure-like episodes, and my right side from shoulder to toe was not reacting like it was supposed too. He said I had a brain disease called conversion disorder. He tried to explain things to me, but I could not understand what he was saying. I could not comprehend much, but I knew that I needed healing. I would be going through healing in many ways. 

The healing process whether a brain disease or a truly physical one is the same treatment.  I was put on medication to help me sleep and I was prescribed a multitude of upcoming therapy. My healing began with a home care team which consisted of a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, and a speech therapist. They came to my house and worked with me three times a week and for a couple of hours at a time. My husband had to take care of all the things on my list that I did every day, and he had to make all the calls, send all the emails, and fill out all the paperwork that I could not. He had to deal with my job and get short term disability taken care of on my behalf. He had to talk to scouts, the church, all my appointments, and plans I may have had with friends and family.  My teenage son had to pick up more responsibilities and be accountable without Mom to remind him.  We were all in a sort of shock, and emotions were strained. From all those around me though, they said that I actually seemed pretty at peace. I was told by visitors and my home care team that I was handling it all so well. I was positive. My husband told me that he had seen me come back from all my health issues before the same way including cancer, brain infection, hip surgeries, knee surgery, and raising teenagers. He said that I take it in stride and just keep going. I have a thought that I like to say, ” Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” Yes, it is a reference from Finding Nemo, a character named Dory that lived her life with that motto. I felt like that is what was supposed to do.  I spend months in therapy. It was during this time that my mind started to think a little and remember things. My head hurt so bad that I could only read for a very short time until my eye gave up or my head did one. I spent a little time in bible scripture, and a little time reading about my condition. I started psychiatric care based on my neurologist advice as he was still searching for any physical cause of my stroke event.  I also started outpatient therapy at the hospital since I was finally starting to walk again, so my husband and mother had to drive me to all my appointments.  I had lost all control of everything in my life and my emotions started coming back from one extreme to the other.  I am a believer in holistic healing. I believe if God made it, then I am willing to try it in the form he made it. I tend to get all the side effects of every prescription medicine out there, and that was the cause of some of my previous health issues. I started also doing research on what essential oils, or natural medicines, and healing options when my head and eye allowed.  I started increasing my time in scripture which was healing my spirit and opening my mind to truth about myself. I had a blessed friend that was coming to see me and help feed my spirit since I could only focus for so long each day. She was a gift of God to continue in my healing process. She was helping to heal and patch up my spirit to make it whole.  My therapy on my body working with the various therapists was not only providing healing for my body but gave me an opportunity to see others with the same disabilities I had. I did not feel alone, and that was helping my healing process of brokenness and physical and mental health. I was learning in my study of my brain disease that my way of coping with stress may have caused the chemical releases in my brain to trigger a stroke event and cause my neuro-pathways to freeze or halt. I was learning that it may take a combination of chemicals to help remap my neuro-pathways in a way that my body could help treat or cure my disease. I would have to determine the right chemicals to provide my brain healing.  My neurologist tried to put me on prescriptions that caused even more side effects and increased seizure episodes.  I decided to try different combinations of essential oils and herbs based on their properties.  Due to my disabilities, this studying was as difficult to do as some of the physical therapy, but it was helping me have hope to restore my health to full healing.  While I was coming up with the right blend for my brain, I did discover a great combination for headaches that worked for me. It was like a switch for me once I would breathe it in and or diffuse it, that my headache actually would go away. It may return later, but I would breathe in the blend again or diffuse again. I was excited to finally be able to continue to read, study, and focus a little longer.  There were times though that I thought I could handle things, and then my brain would stop me with a seizure episode, or it would almost tell my body no and stop me from doing whatever I wanted to do. I felt that I truly did not control my mind, that it was controlling me.  I started praying more, studying more scripture, and trying to communicate more truthfully about my emotions and turmoil inside. From the advice of my friend and my mental therapist, I tried mindfulness. I tried to just let all the random and frazzled half thoughts just be and sat silently at times or wrote down as best I could to get them out of my head and onto paper. It was like a small voice started talking and I could get bits and pieces of what I had studied and read came back to me with clarity. I started hearing what combination may work. I created a blend of herbs and essential oils to try and felt that it would work best based on the ingredients when rubbed on the back of my neck, wrists,  and feet. I did this for a few days, and I started to notice something different. It seemed to allow my mind and my body to reach a level ground and work together better. I decided to call it balance, because that is what it seemed to give me. My emotions seemed more in check, and my brain actually started retaining more. I started talking a little more clearly, and seemed to be understood by those around me. It also had a great side effect of stopping night sweats, which I was extremely excited about.  My family and friends wanted to try it, and they loved it too saying it was giving them emotional balance and helping with menopause, menstrual cycles, and general emotions seemed more manageable.  I had no idea that my path to healing would help others as well as myself.  I was learning a gift as well as being given one.  I would be remiss if I left out the miracle of prayer from all my friends, family, and even a stranger that started praying over me to help heal my physical body! What is clear to me is that healing is not just one remedy or “fix.” Healing is a process and combination that includes faith, hope, time, the right chemicals for your body, and people in your life to nurture your healing to allow full restoration of your mind, body, and spirit.  I hope that my story and my products can help spur your healing process.